Sunday, 1 March 2009

Doubt

Hello guys! This year has been quite trying in many ways and I came dangerously close to falling away. But after thinking through it, there have been certain occasions I cannot ignore or attribute to just mere coincidence. It’s good to know that God will always watch out for me even though I always fall to “necessary” distractions such as schoolwork, and that He shows me His love in little ways, which I treasure.

In the second week of school this year, there was one day I was feeling rather down for no particular reason. Although work had hit already, it wasn’t about that or holiday homework I hadn’t completed or that school was tough because lessons were quite enjoyable that day. I suddenly felt alone, but I also didn’t want to talk to anyone that day either. However, God reminded me to turn to Him and of His love through a verse shared by an almost stranger

Exodus 14:14 The Lord will fight for you, you only need to be still.

Do you believe in coincidences? That reminder came at a rather appropriate time, cheered me up a little and I didn’t need to ask for it.

I see a relationship between QT and feeling better in the sense of having a better attitude = less upset / not worrying (yes, how useless and tiring!! it is to worry) / having faith that it will be okay. Still at my most down moments I find it difficult to turn to Him and let go even though I know I’ll be better after calming down and praying. Why? I think it’s because I’m still clinging to what I want not what He wants, be it things I cannot get or by choosing to brood over things rather than handing my problems to Him. In Mark 14, Jesus was “overwhelmed with sorrow to the point of death”. He prayed: 1) everything is possible for you 2) take this cup from me 3) yet not what I will but what you will. It’s not easy to completely leave it in God’s hands and move on, knowing that difficult times happen because God lets them happen while trusting that it’s for the best. However, it is through these that 1) I realized how much I need God 2) started noticing and appreciating the little things 3) am learning to have faith in Him 4) God reminds us of His love. Admittedly, I still find myself wanting support/approval from people rather than from God, but I am learning to trust God for whatever He has in store for me.

I also thought about how I only really got to know God after I stopped going to church regularly which, if you think about it, doesn’t really make sense. I’m not suggesting that you should stop going to church (!!) but I think it is a good reminder that God will always love us and call us back to Him.

Lastly, I pray that you’re all well with school/life and that you’ll let God fight your battles for you when they come.


(:

love,

Eugenia

3 comments:

  1. Mmm. We all go through these bouts of tough times and distance from God once inna while. Only thing is, what are we doing about it?

    I also feel that, to me, work is a distraction. But i think its not supposed to be like this. Dunno how view work...

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  2. Admittedly, I realise most of the time I (don't want to) do anything about it until prompted to or when things really spiral out of hand - I guess that's when I turn back and try to find God again. ...God's work, I haven't really done anything. (And that's why He's so great)

    Someone also told me that there's really nothing we can do because can we really convince each other He's there? Sometimes I think that perhaps God lets it happen so we'll know what it's like without him, hmm, idk.

    But I guess it is also important to watch out for each other, and to remind each other that God IS there. So that in times of difficulty we will remember to turn to Him, and not fall away in the first place.

    haha i think i sound incoherent, is late.

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  3. The challenge i guess, is to see God in everything we do. Seeking to glorify him in our studies and lives. Tis true that it is hard, but do pray hard, pray before you work, and you'll feel all the difference. At least that's for me :D.

    The isolation i guess is sometimes a contrast to what we may normally feel. In the end, it's all emotions, cause we know that in all things His presence lives within us and the manifestation of that presence is what we feel as emotions =). But persevere on! Worship and pray when you least want to, it'll make all the difference!

    :)

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