Five Loaves and Two Fishes

(Fab's post below is an encouraging one, please take time to read it as well ^^)

Hello all. I thought I'd share my own experience for the past week, it's really been a trying time for myself and (I trust) for all my friends and brothers/sisters alike.

The week began on a high note, no doubt about that, excitement bubbled through us at the prospect of blessing the teachers, of moving out, and of doing something radical. Revival never felt so close, something big was going to happen, and God would move - hopefully. I remember praying for my Chem teacher (hmmm, those in 5.14 Chem class would know) and feeling great, knowing that I had planted a loving seed within someone. The joy of the Lord overflowed, it was a wonderful sensation.

Things changed on Tuesday. Feedback came, and some felt we were moving too quickly. It was something I pondered over, struggled over, and asked God for the answer. There was a 'crisis meeting' of sorts that afternoon, and as several of us debated over what should be done - slow down? or leave the slow behind? - we realised something - perhaps we had forgotten God. Prayer had been neglected, human strength had been glorified. As for me, I scrutinized myself, and found that I had been seeking revival, not God.

Revival, in all it's goodness and excitment, is perhaps a distracting and stressful word. Focus on God, not on revival. Come to prayer meetings to encounter God, to love Him and love those He has created.

That day on tuesday, as I struggled with this realisation that my focus had gone off tangent, I fell awfully sick. I awoke from a nap to a splitting headache, shivers, and cold. I trembled under the blanket as I asked God for forgiveness and healing. It was a painful night, but God saw me through. And that was the timely reminder - that human strength was frailty, and perhaps we (or at least I) had lost sight of God.

The next day I was well again, miraculously, save for a little dizziness - but still made it on time for the prayer meeting to support Kenneth at the 'thrashing session'. I remember devoting the whole day simply to thanking God for His reminder, and for His grace that was sufficient when I was in my time of need.

Fast forward now. I guess it's a continual growing process, we go astray sometimes, and need to be dragged back on the path by God - and sometimes it takes a little more than a tiny nudge.

So Five Loaves and Two Fishes. It's been circling within my mind for some time - we need to be broken - we need to give our all - and like the bread and two fishes - be broken so the five thousand (or more) can be fed. But are we willing to be broken?

God broke me this week - though I believe He can still break me further. But how broken are you? How much have you been humbled by God? How much have you given up to live a righteous live? Have you repented of everything undesirable?

Be broken. Lest we cannot be fully used by God. Ask some of these questions as all of you move into the next week. I'll make sure to question myself too.

...

and yes. As Tim-the-top-boy-cum-mugger (i shan't hide this identity any longer), I shall give the timely reminder to do your homework :)

Honoring God,
TimLim